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Sorry for this revelation, but I just figured this out. I kind of knew it was coming...but it hit me this morning.

Mrs. Big Straight Al was tugging away this morning and somewhere between stroking my balls and playing with my nips and her "big move" (i.e., reaching over to get the FUCKING ICE COLD hand cream) I kinda "lost interest"...my euphemism for deflation.

Don't get me wrong...I still love Mrs. Big Straight Al. Always will. But frankly, how many times can anyone's dick get excited about getting smothered in FUCKING ICE COLD hand cream before shooting a load?

Apparently for me its been about 500 times. I'm sure others could go longer and some others could go shorter. Never let it be said that I have no patience.

Honestly, I have asked Mrs. Big Straight Al to mix it up a little, but needless to say she has been . I believe the term she used was "Fuck off". I wasn't asking for much: a little titty fuck (the Mrs. has great titty fuck tits), a little straddle, maybe some labia action, a little 69 (actually a lot of 69...I love Cunn E. Lingus)...mmm cunnilingus.

But I digress.

None of it has happened. Just a farty-sounding squeeze from the ICE FUCKING COLD hand cream tube, signalling the "this better be it, dickwad-of-a-husband, you better come soon" ending.

No "happy" in "happy ending" for you. Guess Mrs. Big Straight Al has turned into the Jerk ...no orgasm for you!

(Pardon the now obscure Seinfeld reference).

Anyone want to help me out - no strings attached. Just leave your ICE FUCKING COLD hand cream at the door!